Day Eleven

          First off, I would like to apologize to you guys. I was sad yesterday, and sometimes it's okay to be sad, but it wasn't fair to inflict my doom and gloom on you. I am feeling a bit better today. Still not my usual awesome self, but today I can breathe. So that's good, right? And now that that's out of the way, I think it's time to move on with the challenge, shall we?

Writing Challenge Day 11: Put your iPod on Shuffle and write down the first Ten Songs

          This isn't much of a challenge, so maybe I'll tell you something about each song and why it's on my iPod.

1.  I Saw a Light by The Band Perry -I love The Band Perry, so of course they're on my iPod. This is actually one of my favorite songs on the CD. 
2. Deliver Us from The Prince of Egypt -This song is from one of my favorite movies ever! It is such a powerful song it is one of the few that I will crank up the volume for. Love it, love it, love it!
3. The Shadow of the Past by Howard Shore -Lord of the Rings, guys. Come on, of course this is on my iPod.
4. Daniel in the Den by Bastille -I just borrowed this CD from my friend two nights ago. This isn't my favorite on the CD, but it's pretty high up there. Probably 4th or 5th on the list of favorites.
5. Over by Johnnyswim -Johnnyswim isn't a very well known band, but they're good. I think one of their songs (Home) was on CMT a few weeks ago, which maybe means people will know who I'm talking about when I talk about them.
6. The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert -I don't care if you don't like country. This song can mean something to anyone who listens to it. This is, in my opinion, Miranda Lambert's best song.
7. Do You Hear The People Sing? from Les Miserables -Do you hear the people sing, singing a song of angry men...it is the music of the people who will not be slaves again!
8. I See the Light from Tangled -Disney rocks, obviously. Also, Eugene Fitzherbert is my cartoon crush.
9. Hurt by Johnny Cash -I don't even know what to say about this one. I love Johnny Cash, I love this song...this has been a song that reminds me that others have felt worse pain.
10. Captain America March by Alan Silvestri -This is obviously from Captain America, which just so happens to be my favorite of the Avengers. We played this song at my last band concert. So this song makes me sad now. A bittersweet sad, really. I miss band and all the people. 

Well...I think I listen to to many movie soundtracks...oh well, that's the best music anyway. Especially the end to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer 's Stone, which is what I'm listening to right now. Alright guys, it's time for me to get cracking on my Spanish homework. ¡Hasta Luego!

Day Ten

          Sorry guys, I know it's been awhile. But college started and I have to do adult things now and I can't just write like I'd like to. Oh well, I don't have class today, so here you go!

Writing Challenge Day Ten: Your Current Relationship, if Single Discuss How Single Life is
    Single life is, as usual, very single. I used to hate the fact that I was single. I let it get to me and make me sad. I've gotten much better at ignoring it. But there are some days (sometimes weeks) where the feeling of being alone is so overwhelming I feel like I can't breathe. Sometimes I feel like I am being crushed. Currently, it's hard to ignore it. I am sad and I am lonely. I don't know what it feels like to have someone love you for who you are and I want to. Desperately. I wish there was someone who wanted to know me, for me. And when I realize that no one does, I don't feel worth anything. I am being crushed. But it will pass...it always does. And when it does, I can revel in all my single glory. I will be happy again.For the time being, however, I think I'll just let myself be sad. It's healthy to be sad every once in a while, right? Regardless, it's always easiest to write my story when I feel like this. So, I think I'll do that. I promise the next post will be better.

Day Number Nine

Writing Challenge Day #9: Your Favorite Thing to do Right Now

          My favorite thing...right now. Well, reading is definitely pretty high on the list. So is writing in my story. And playing piano. Those are probably my three favorite things to do right now. It's actually really sad. I guess I just like being alone. Not to say I don't love hanging out with my friends, because I do. (speaking of which, we went to Meijer in dresses. It was the fanciest thing I've done in a long time. I almost bought $15 shoes...I wish I would have.) Honestly, whenever I do things with my friends, it takes a lot to get me out of the house, a lot of lectures to myself, and maybe a motivational speech or two. But once I do leave, I always have a great time and don't want to go home. So maybe reading, writing, and playing piano are top on my list of favorite things to do because it's more accessible and causes me less stress. (I stress out every time I leave the house...yay social anxiety.)
         So...this post is super short, and I don't know what else to say. Would you like to read a portion of a story of mine? I'll pick one of my favorite parts for you. It's not a happy scene, by any means, but I still love it. We finally start to figure out what's going on in Jamie's head.

[Austen and Jamie are discussing their favorite colors at the opening of this scene.]

I dropped my voice to a whisper and paused for dramatic effect. “The rules of a pinky promise.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Well, you can’t break a pinky promise,” I told him.

“What happens if I do?” he asked, just as serious as I was.

“You won’t…because it’s a pinky promise.”

Austen nodded. “Fair enough.”

“Do you still want to know, now that you know how serious this is?” I asked, still solemn.

He just held out his pinky. “Come on Jamie. All I’m asking is why.”

“The risk is yours,” I resigned, twisting my pinky with his. “Black is always black. No matter how many things change around you, black will always be the same. Now with other colors, they change. There isn’t just blue anymore. There’s aqua blue, royal blue, navy blue and so on. And it’s the same with all the other colors.  Black is just different.”

“I thought you just said it was the same!” Austen protested.

I hit him on the arm, knowing it wouldn’t hurt him at all. “You know what I mean.”

Austen laughed and I glared at him. He held his hands up. “I’m not laughing at your explanation. I’m laughing at your frustration. It’s funny.”

I just continued to glare.

“Look,” he said, “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Fine,” I grumbled, but letting my mouth turn up slightly, to let him know that it was okay.

“Can I ask you another question?” He asked, reaching over to grab my hand. Having physical contact with another person made my hair stand on end, but I let him do it. It made me seem like I was just like everyone else, a feeling that has been alien to me for so long.

“You just did,” I said, sarcastically. “But, if you want to ask another one, I guess you can.”

He squeezed my hand lightly. “Why did you do it?”

I froze, and then slowly pulled my hand away from him. “Why are you asking me that? Are you trying to analyze me? Am I just some sick problem that you’re trying to solve?”

“No, of course not,” he said, reaching for my hand again. “I wouldn’t do that, Jamie. I’m just trying to understand. That’s all I wanted was to understand.”

I looked at his hand, clutching mine, and then into his hazel eyes. He truly looked concerned. But I also saw the pity, the pity that I saw over and over again in other eyes. But I wanted to share my thoughts with someone, for once.

“I just…” I cleared my throat, which was already closing with the effort it took to try not to cry. But there were already tears in my eyes. “I just didn’t want to be me anymore. I didn’t want to be here.”

“Jamie…” Austen said, pulling me into his arms and holding me tight. “I’m here for you now. I’ll be here.”

I cried, the pain of that night washing over me. And, although Austen was here and he made me feel things that I had tried so hard to feel, I was still the same empty me, the same me that I didn’t want to be.

Eight. That is the Day that I am on.

Day Number 8: Five Things From Your Bucket List

          Well, Crap. I already did ten things off of my bucket list. So, now what? I think I will just expand on the first five items on my bucket list. Are you cool with that? I am, so let's do it.

1. Publish a book.  I love to write. This is like my biggest passion ever, alongside music (see cello). I've been writing stories for most of my life and I've been reading books since I could read. And I guess someday I'd like to be there for my readers as my favorite authors were for me. Wow, that was super cheesy. But still true. I want to be inspiring.
2. Learn another language. I mostly just want to be fluent in another language so I can confuse the crap out of people. Bad reason, but that's just what it is. Also, learning another language is probably useful.
3. Travel to New Zealand. I love Lord of the Rings!!!! (you honestly haven't figured this out yet?) I want to visit Hobbiton and see the sets of the movie. Also, New Zealand is beautiful. I would love to go there.
4. Learn how to play cello. This is my second passion...music! My obsession with cello started when I heard 2cellos on Pandora.com. Since I already know how to play piano, flute, and piccolo, I figured I might as well add the cello. And it's gorgeous. Have you ever seen a more beautiful instrument? (if you have, don't tell me)
5. Swim with dolphins. I know this is so cliché, but I still want to do it! I love water, swimming, and dolphins, so this is the perfect activity for me. Not to mention I'd be able to say I did it. So there.

Okay guys...22 more days. Can I finish it? Of course!!

I've Actually Made it Five Days

Writing Challenge Day 5: Three Things You Like About Your Personality

          Well. Three things I like about my personality...I guess I like my ability to crack a joke. Although usually my jokes are just misguided sarcasm. And my sarcasm has been mistaken for seriousness on several occasions. So I guess it's not the best quality, but hey, it's something.
          Another thing I like....I like...you know, I don't really know. I've never really thought about the parts I like. I usually focus on what I hate, on what makes me not want to be me. I always thought I was too stubborn, so I decided to just go along with what everyone else wanted. But my stubbornness could have been determination. I can be determined when I want to be. So I guess that's a good thing.
          Alright, one more good thing. Man, shouldn't this be easy? Aren't people supposed to be at least a little narcissistic? Well hey, I suppose that's a good thing I always think of anyone and everyone else before myself. Although that's turned out to be a bad thing. I'm so afraid of being someone that I'm always the one that ends up hurt. So I guess I don't really like that part of myself. I wish I were more selfish. I wish a lot of things that just aren't true about me.
          Goodness. One more thing. This shouldn't be as hard as I'm making it. (Another thing I don't like...I think to much.) I guess I like my ability to be alone. I don't really require the company of others that much. I could go quite awhile on my own. I suppose that's not necessarily a good thing, but I like that I don't have to really on other people. I don't think I'll ever be an extrovert, and that's okay. Which makes me want to end this with a Wreck-it-Ralph quote: I'm bad. And that's good. I will never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be, than me.

The Day of FOUR!

          Just a side note, FOUR! I cannot wait to purchase Divergent on DVD!! (Yes, I am a geeky fangirl. Get over it.)

Writing Challenge Day 4: 25 Things to do Before Your Next Birthday

          Well, my birthday will be here in a measly 2 months and a few days. So I won't have time to do many things. Keeping this in mind, I'll make it a list of plausible things to do before my next birthday.

1. Start college
2. Get a job
3. Attend a marching competition to support my old band
4. Go to a high school football game and actually be part of the crowd
5. Go to a beach
6. Make a friend
7. Clean my room (this actually needs to be on the list)
8. Beat Zelda: Ocarina of Time (I'm only on the forest temple...long way to go)
9. Try to make a recipe I have saved on Pinterest
10. Get new strings for my cello
11. Learn how to play cello
12. Find a new song to learn on piano
13. Be able to do at least 5 pull ups.
14. Borrow a Christina Perri CD from my friend (I forgot to last week...)
15. Purchase Oh, What a Life (An American Authors Album)
16. Read The Mime Order!! (which I actually can't do. It comes out in January.)
17. Read the Selection series and the Matched series to appease my sister
18. Watch all of the Lord of the Rings movies in order
19. Make a cake! Yum...
20. Have one good day of babysitting
21. Get together with my cousins
22. Go garage saling!
23. Run another 5K
24. Learn elvish (because, why not?)
25. Make a wish on my birthday cake candles

The Third Day

  (So, I actually started writing this yesterday, but never got to finish it. So my day in detail is yesterday's day, not today.)

Writing Challenge Day 3: Describe Your Day in Detail

          I woke up this morning at 5:40. This first thing I did was get dressed. Then I packed my bag for the day, which included my phone, my kindle (which is what I'm using to do this), my kindle charger, a notebook and pen, and Sleeping Beauty on DVD. Then I drove to my aunt's house and I honestly don't remember most of the drive. When I got to her house, Mr. Man woke up (which is what I call the 5 month old) and he was hungry. I feed him, burped him, and put him in his bouncy seat. The bouncy seat has music and such, but it's low on battery, so whenever it's turned on, it sounds like a demented clown. Not really something you want to hear before the sun is up. So we chilled together until 7:30, when triplet numero uno wandered in, asking for milk. The other two woke up 15-20 minutes later. (They will be 4 years old in a few months!) We watched Special Agent Oso until breakfast. (I wanted to watch Rolie Polie Olie, but I was outvoted. Again.) They had multi-grain cheerios for breakfast and I had a slice of peanut butter toast. After breakfast we colored and made straight lines with the new rulers that the girls got. They were so excited! However, then Mr. Man started getting fussy, so I turned on Toy Story for the girls to watch while I tended to him. He did not stop crying. For three hours. So I just put him in his bed and let him cry while I made lunch (chicken salad sandwiches, cucumbers, and grapes for the girls, milk for Mr. Man). They ate, he ate, I cried a little. Mr. Man fell asleep after he drank his bottle, (a miracle!) and I used that time to get the girls settled for their nap and to clean up the kitchen.

          Around 1:30, I was about to make myself some lunch when I heard the terrifying sound of a baby crying. Resigned to the fact that I probably wouldn't get any food until I left, I went and got him. So, two more hours of crying later, the girls woke up an hour too early. They had a 'picnic' in the living room while I was in Mr. Man's room trying to get him to fall asleep. Nothing worked! So we cried together some more. I put him back in his bouncy seat and we was strangely calm until right before my aunt got home. She came home to full out disaster. I was holding a crying baby and trying to separate two of the girls, who were fighting and yelling at each other, while the third one was singing to herself as loud as she could. I helped my aunt bring in groceries and I couldn't just leave her with the apocalypse raging in her house, so I held Mr. Man and distracted the girls while she got dinner on the table and, just like magic, he fell asleep in my arms. It was a victorious moment. I put him in his bed, chatted with my aunt a bit, listed to my stomach growling. You know, the usual.

          I finally left at quarter after six and, although I live a mere twenty minutes from my aunt's house, I couldn't wait any more to eat and I stopped at McDonald's. I was tempted to order a happy meal, but I didn't want a Barbie toy. So, I got the McDouble and small fries instead. And a water. It was the best thing all day. I took a relaxing drive home, hoping I'd see my high school's band out practicing for Tuesday night rehearsal, half wishing I could be out there with them. I got home and looked up jobs to apply to with my dad (no luck) and then went in my basement to do some weightlifting. (I suck at it). I gave up on weightlifting because I was tired and went upstairs to play some piano. Speaking of which, I recently mastered a piece that I love! I should put it up...it's Dark Night of the Soul by Philip Wesley. After I played piano, I watched American Ninja Warrior and fell asleep about 10 minutes after I started watching it. I woke up again at 10:30 and again just before midnight. And that is where my day stops. Rough, but still good. Now hopefully I can get caught up on my writing challenge! Day four, here I come!

Writing Challenge Day Two

          I realize that technically this is the third day of the writing challenge. I'll explain why in the challenge portion. But, to make up for it, I'll try to do two prompts today.

Writing Challenge Day 2: Something you're looking forward to in the next twelve months

         Unlimited internet! I am so excited! The reason I couldn't post yesterday was because we had run out of internet. However, now I am babysitting, and I can use their internet. Hooray! I am also excited to (hopefully) go to the Dominican Republic this winter, either late December or early January. It will be my first time traveling out of the country, which is huge! Okay, I lied. I went to Canada when I was six, which is technically out of the country. But come on, Canada is essentially the upper peninsula! (I apologize to any Canadians who find that offensive.) Let's see, what else am I excited for? Well, school starts up in a couple of weeks, and while I'm not excited to start college, I am excited to hopefully make some new friends. Kind of. I'm not very good with people, so we shall see how it goes. I'm excited for The Mime Order by Samantha Shannon. And I'm already kind of excited for Christmas. Yes, I'm one of those people. I love going to Bronner's and listening to Christmas music as soon as it comes on the radio. (STAR 105.7!) I'm excited for Mockingjay to come out in theatres. And I guess that's all for now. I'll start the next writing challenge soon, but at the moment there is a hungry baby screaming for some food. Wish me luck!!

I found a new challenge!

          I'm going to try another challenge. I know, I know...I failed the drawing challenge rather quickly. But, I think this one will go a little smoother. For the first day of the challenge I'm going to use a little questionnaire thing that I found on Pinterest. Are you ready for it? Here it comes!

Writing Challenge Day #1: Basic things about yourself

1. Full Name: Tara Schafer (sorry, not disclosing my middle name. You understand, right?)
2. Zodiac sign: Libra
3. 3 fears: Judgment, being insignificant, pigs
4. 3 things I love: Reading, music, writing (obviously!)
5. Best first date: Well, I had a date in a dream once...
6. How tall am I?: 5'3 3/4" (the 3/4 is important, okay!)
7. What do I miss?: I miss not having to worry about what I'm doing with my life. Being a kid was nice.
8. What time was I born?: I don't know. Oddly, I don't remember it, really.
9. Favorite color: All the colors between blue and green
10. Do I have a crush?: No, not really.
11. Favorite quote: "Not all those who wander are lost."
12. Favorite place: Home
13. Favorite food: Potatoes, bread, and cheese.
14. Do I use sarcasm?: No, never. (<--that was sarcasm)
15. What am I listening to right now?: Concerning Hobbits by Howard Shore (what else?)
16.  First thing I notice in a new person?: I have absolutely no idea. Gender?
17. Shoe size: 7
18. Eye color: brown
19. Hair color: brown
20. Favorite style of clothing?: Jeans and hoodie.
21. Ever done a prank call: Yes. I was a pizza man named Joe.
22. Favorite movie: Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. Can't decide...
23. Favorite song: Currently, Oh, What a Life by American Authors
24. Favorite band: Right now I have a slight obsession with American Authors.
25. How do I feel right now?: Kind of tired, kind of hungry. Mostly in the mood to write.
26. Someone I love: My family!
27. My relationship with my parents: My previous suggests that it's pretty good, so...
28. Favorite holiday: Christmas!
29. Tattoos and piercings I have: I have my ears pierced (once). That's it.
30. Tattoos and piercings I want: I'd like to get a small meaningful tattoo, but I don't have anything meaningful enough yet.
31. Last book I read?: Four by Veronica Roth
32. Do I ever get 'good morning' or 'good night' texts?: Nope.
33. Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?: Most certainly not!! (it was my brother)
34. When did I last hold hands?: With a boy? Never. With a girl? Probably last time I saw one of my friends (she's a hand holder. She's also one of the few people that actually read this. Love you!)
35. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: 5-10 minutes
36. Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?: Why, yes, I have. Just this morning actually.
37. Where am I right now?: In front of the computer...typing...
38. Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: Reasonable, definitely reasonable. I hate music that's too loud. It isn't enjoyable for me.

Alright...well that was fun, wasn't it? You excited for day 2? I am!! This is already more fun than the drawing challenge!