I was fully intending to write a New Year's post back when 2016 started. Unfortunately, it just didn't happen. That doesn't mean it can't happen now! It's never too late to reflect on the year before and the year ahead. I'm going to follow the same format as New Year's post from last time, so sorry I'm not a little more creative. Also, apologies for not posting in over a month. It's been awhile since I've had a new book to read and I haven't had anything all that excited to write about. Here's to more blog posts soon!
What were the three best things to happen last year?
Of course the biggest thing has to be going to Ireland. It's funny going back and remembering how nervous I was to go and then I got there and it was the best experience of my life. I still can't get over how amazing and beautiful it was there. I really have to go back.
I also quit my custodial job last year. I didn't realize how completely awful that job made me feel until I was free of it. Just going through that weekly degradation took a toll on my mental well being. Not a day goes by that I miss it there. Every time I think of it, I am filled with such an overwhelming relief that I never have to go back there. It was definitely a good decision not to work there.
I have the best roommate ever. Moving away from home was (is) really hard for me. I don't think I would have made it through the process without my roommate to keep me sane. I am so fortunate that she's been my friend for years and we've lived together since September and we're still friends. Everyone told me not to room with a friend because I wouldn't be able to stand them by the end of it, but so far so good. I'd say we're pretty compatible.
What were the three worst things to happen last year?
My wonderful, beautiful golden retriever was hit by a car right before my birthday. I can't write about it without crying, so I won't.
I had to leave my community college and the job I had there. Honestly, I absolutely loved that school and the people I worked with. If it were an option, I'd go back in a heartbeat. Unfortunately for me, there are very few programs that I could go to the University Center for and mine is not one of them.
Coming to Western, while I believe in the long run will be good for me and I will appreciate it eventually, was the hardest thing I've had to do. I don't even know how I made it through that first semester. I thought I did a decent job expressing how difficult it was without letting how depressed it made me show. However, I was recently talking to my mom about it and she told me how worried she was because my voice sounded so dead whenever I called (which was every day). And honestly, that's how I felt most of the time. So, yeah, everyone tells me I'll learn to love it and that this is good for me, but I don't feel that yet. Right now, it is one of the worst things that I've gone through in the past year.
What did you learn about yourself in 2015?
In 2015, I learned just how strong I am and how strong I'm not. I was so proud of myself for going to Ireland and just making that whole thing happen. After I got back, I was working and taking classes and I was just on cloud nine. I think that's one of the first times I described myself as a strong, confident person. I thought, 'after Ireland, going to Western will be a piece of cake!'.
It wasn't. That's when I learned that I don't have the strength to carry myself. I still don't. I took a pretty big hit in the fall and I'm still trying to recover. It's going to take some time, but I'm still confident enough that I can do it.
Where do you see yourself one year from now?
Well, hopefully I've got my crap together in a year. I'm really hoping. I'm also hoping that I'll be happier. I'll have made friends that make coming back here easier. I hope being away from home gets easier. I don't think I'll ever stop missing it, but just to miss it a little less would be nice.
A year from now, I'd like to smile more.
And hopefully be accepted for another study abroad program. I've become severely inflicted with wanderlust.
"This is the past: It drifts, it gathers. If you are not careful, it will bury you." -Requiem by Lauren Oliver
