So I was at work today and I started writing this really awesome, thought provoking blog post in my head. Of course, I'm sitting there thinking, 'Man, this is really deep. This could actually be pretty good. I don't need to write anything, I'll remember it.' And you know what I did? I went and forgot every single detail of whatever it was I was writing in my head. I don't even vaguely remember what it was about. I'm actually pretty disappointed. You should be too...this was going to be a pretty awesome post. And now it's just me rambling. Don't worry, I won't ramble the whole time. In fact, I'll move on with the writing challenge now. (Can you believe it's almost over?!)
Writing Challenge Day #28: Something You Always Think 'What if...' About
Three things pop into my head instantly when I think of 'What if...' situations. One of them occurred at the end of Eighth grade. That year I had mostly abandoned my usual group of friends in favor of hanging out with the popular girls. It was very exhilarating, being part of the 'cool kids' niche. Although, underneath it all, I was still me. I was still a quirky band kid that loved to read. That was me. So at the end of the year, I was invited by one of the popular girls to an 'end of the year' party. This party was to be a boys and girls party (which I had never done. Still haven't, actually.) None of the girls in my previous group of friends had been invited. To me, this was the moment when I decided whether or not I would be popular or not. I chose not to go and I was never invited to another party again. My friends took me back (thank God!) and I have never regretted my decision. But I have always wondered what would have happened if I had gone to that stupid party. Would I have ended up being popular in high school? Probably not, but it's an interesting concept to think about...how different I could have turned out if I had said yes.
'What if...' scenario number two...remember that guy? Yeah, that one. The one that made me cry and laugh and do both at the same time. I loved him in only the way a young teenage girl can...slightly obsessive, completely irrational, but still genuine. I always wonder what would have happened if I would have told him how I felt. I still wonder what would happen if I told him now. I don't love him, not in the same way. I still think about him all the time and I wonder if telling him might bring me closure. But I don't want to tell him. Because it's just awkward, you know? We're not even really friends anymore. He didn't even wish me a happy birthday (which was Friday), and it kind of sucked because I know he doesn't think about me nearly half as much as I think about him. So this 'What if' is kind of a past and present 'What if'. Maybe, if I told him, I could completely get over him, once and for all and be done with this whole mess.
My last 'What if...' scenario hasn't really happened yet. It has to do with the Ireland trip. If I get accepted to go, and decide not to, I will probably regret it and be wondering about all the 'What if's' for the rest of my life. I almost don't want to be accepted because than I don't have to make the choice. Don't get me wrong, I would love to go to Ireland. But doing this, on my own, completely terrifies me. I guess we'll know more about that after Thanksgiving. I'll try to find other things to write about once the Writing Challenge is over. We only have two days left...I feel like I just started it a week ago. Funny how slow time seems to go, but how quickly it passes.
"I must stop wishing for things to happen. Because something will happen eventually, and when it does , I'll be bound to wish it hadn't." -Fire by Kristin Cashore
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